Miss America speaks out against bullying
By josh davidson
Staff Writer

VERONICA YANKOWSKI Miss America Erika Harold, of Illinois, meets her fans during her Nov. 5 visit to the St. Leo the Great School, Lincroft section of Middletown.

She was told she wasn’t pretty — and she grew up to become Miss America.

Being bullied in high school is something this year’s Miss America, Erika Harold, went through, and she now uses her position to tell others not to tolerate it.

On Nov. 5 Harold appeared at St. Leo the Great School, Lincroft, as part of her national tour promoting her anti-bullying platform, "Empowering Youth Against Violence: Respect Yourself, Protect Yourself."

The school has chosen to "bullyproof" itself as its goal this year.

"I am very proud today to be different, because when you are different you can make a difference in the world," she told students during an afternoon assembly.

One thing that Harold said makes her different is her racial background. Her mother is African-American and native American, while her father is Greek, German and Russian, she said.

"You don’t ever have to apologize for being different," she told students.

During this assembly, she spoke of her past problems with being bullied and why it should not be tolerated.

She answered students’ questions, and crowned two boys and two girls and one teacher with the Miss America crown in a mock crowning ceremony. Harold was crowned Miss America 2003 in Atlantic City in September.

During Harold’s time as a ninth-grade student in Illinois, students made up songs that put her down, called her a loser, and told her that she wasn’t pretty, she said.

The treatment got worse, as students vandalized her house and eventually threatened her life, she said. Her school principal told her he would do nothing about it, she said.

"It was very scary for me, and I didn’t really have anyone to turn to," she said.

Harold eventually transferred to another school.

"I will never forget what it felt like to be made to feel that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t valuable," she said.

Harold hasn’t heard from any of the people in high school who tormented her, but one bully gave his point of view in a People magazine article about her being bullied.

The bully, who chose to remain anonymous in the article, said he didn’t feel bad about what they did because he believed Harold deserved it, she said.

The bullying, Harold said, hurt her self-esteem, but she used family support, religious faith, and turning the experience into a positive one by telling others not to bully, to build it back up.

During her high school years, listening to music and praying helped her divert herself from the problems these bullies caused her, Harold said.

When being bullied, many people will ask God why it is happening to them, she said.

She said she came to the conclusion that God never gives people anything that they can’t handle. The bullying, in the end, made her a more compassionate and understanding person, and she now tends to stand up for what she believes in, she said.

She gave advice to bullied students on how to deal with the problem.

"If you are being bullied, you have to find a way to deal with those negative emotions, or else they will become too much," Harold said. "They will become too overwhelming."

Children will torment each other for a number of reasons, Harold said. One reason is, they think it will make them feel better because they are insecure themselves, and another reason is that they don’t realize bullying hurts other children’s feelings, she said.

Harold told students a story of a child in her fourth-grade class. The child was treated harshly and ignored because he was poor, and she said she remembered that she wasn’t nice to him because she thought if she was, children would treat her in the mean manner they treated him, she said.

One day, the summer after that school year, her mother called Harold in and told her that the child was riding his bike and was hit by a car and died, she said. After being told of his death, she remembered feeling bad, because the child passed away without knowing what it was like to be treated nicely by his peers, she said.

After telling that story, she told the students, "If you see somebody who is being made fun of, I would ask you to stand up for them.

"What I would ask every one of you to do from this day forward is, if you see someone being made fun of, be their friend," Harold said.

Harold said she supports anti-bullying laws made through out the country, including the one passed in New Jersey. If schools and the legislatures take the issue seriously, they can change the amount of bullying that happens at schools, she said.

"I want lawmakers to make it illegal to not take bullying seriously," she said. "Schools need to adopt anti-harassment policies and they need to reinforce these policies by explaining them to the students."

A public dialogue should be initiated in the anti-bullying law-making process, so the public can play a role in handling it, she said.

Today, the problem of bullying has escalated into more altercations that are even more violent than in the past, Harold said. Part of the problem is that parents have become less active in their children’s’ lives, she said.

Becoming Miss America has been a joyous experience for Harold, she said. Since being crowned, she has traveled to Belgium, she sang the national anthem at a Dallas Cowboys game, and last week was a guest square on the Hollywood Squares game show. She also is given free clothes by the Miss America Organization because it wants to be represented by someone who looks nice, she said.

Harold grew up watching the Miss America pageant on television and learned what it was like to be Miss America from viewing it, she said. After viewing these pageants, she realized that contestants always chose an important issue to talk about. When she entered, she chose school bullying to be her topic, she said.

The Miss America pageant is as relevant now as it always was, Harold said.

The Miss America Organization will enable Harold to further her education at Harvard Law School in the fall of 2004, she said. She will study public interest law there and seek a job in the public policy field when she graduates, she said. She already has a degree from the University of Illinois.

The pageant is not only about looking nice, it’s about having a passion you want to share with other people, she said. The prestige the winner receives makes people listen to them, she said.

Students at St. Leo’s expressed their stand against bullying by singing anti-bullying songs and creating art projects on the topic. Before the assembly, class members presented Harold with a white school sweatshirt.