Memories fill fabric of widow’s quilt
Quilting group stitches blanket from shirts of Marine killed in combat
BY SHERRY CONOHAN
Staff Writer

After Stacey Sammis’ husband, Capt. Benjamin W. Sammis, a Marine pilot, was killed in combat in Iraq a year ago, she couldn’t bring herself to dispose of his clothes. She didn’t want to throw them out, she didn’t want to give them to charity. She wanted to be able to touch them, to bring her closer to him.

"Before I moved from California, I would snuggle up to his clothes in the closet," she recalled.

"But," she said, "I didn’t want to bring them into my new house."

Sammis, a graduate of Shore Regional High School who grew up in West Long Branch, said she posed her dilemma to the pastor of the church in which she was married, the Lutheran Church of the Reformation in West Long Branch, and asked him what she should do with the clothes.

"He suggested making a quilt out of them," she related.

She said the pastor urged her to contact Francine Yamello, a member of the congregation, whom he knew to be a quilter. Sammis’ family was acquainted with Yamello so she approached her about how to get a quilt made. Yamello took that question back to her quilting group, the Rebecca’s Reel Quilters of Poricy Park in Middletown, who readily agreed to make the quilt she wanted.

The result is a colorful "memory quilt" that one of the quilters, Janine Allen, explained is made of Ben Sammis’ shirts and is bound with a binding made out of his jump suit.

"There’s a pocket in the back made out of his fleece jacket," Allen added. "She might want to keep letters or other momentoes in the pocket. Or she can fold the quilt into the pocket and make a pillow."

Sammis said the many colors come from her husband’s Hawaiian, plaid and striped shirts.

Allen and Yamello brought the quilt to the home of Sammis’ parents, Michael and Joyce Dancisin in Avon, on Sunday while she was spending the Mother’s Day weekend with them on a visit from her new home in Alexandria, Va.

"It’s gorgeous," Sammis said. "It’s wonderful."

"First, I just want to hug it," she said. "My mother said I should hang it on the wall. I think I’ll hug it for a while, and then, maybe, I’ll hang it on the wall."

The Rebecca’s Reel Quilters are keeping the quilt they made for Sammis for another week so that they can display it with other their quilts they made in a show this Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Poricy Park on Oak Hill Road in Middletown. The hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday.

Allen said there will be both traditional and contemporary quilts on display and for sale along with a number of 36-by-36-inch quilts interpreting the show’s theme "Into the Woods."

The quilt that the Rebecca’s Reel group made for Sammis bears a label on the back that reads, "In memory of Capt. Benjamin Wilson Sammis, USMC, made by the ladies of Rebecca’s Reel Quilters of Poricy Park in 2004 in Middletown, N.J.

Capt. Sammis was killed with another pilot when their helicopter crashed on April 5, 2003, during a combat mission 30 miles southeast of Baghdad during the formally declared hostilities in Iraq.

Both he and his widow were 29 at the time. She has since turned 30.

Asked her thoughts on the conflict in Iraq today, Sammis said she wants to see what her husband and others like him began carried through to a successful conclusion. She noted that more than 700 Americans have now died in the war effort and she hoped it wouldn’t be in vain.

She noted that President Bush had said "we’re going to be finishing what the fallen have fought for" and said that was the message she had for Gen. Richard B. Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, when she had the opportunity to meet him.

"I told him just promise me that we’re going to finish it," she said.

Sammis and her husband lived in Vista, Calif., where her husband was stationed at Camp Pendleton. She said he was attached to the HMLA (Helicopter Marine Light Attack) 267 squadron, which was known as "The Stingers." His radio call name, which she gave him, was "Pokey."

After his death, she returned to New Jersey where she lived with her parents for a while before striking out on her own to make a new life in Alexandria, Va. She acquired a townhouse in August and holds down two jobs as a speech pathologist — one with the Arlington School District and the other with the Fairfax County Health Department — working with pre-school children.

Sammis said the Washington, D.C., area holds "warm memories" for her. It’s where she met her husband, where she attended graduate school, and where she has many friends.

One of those is a friend going back to their kindergarten days together. She is Sarah Deisinger, daughter of West Long Branch Councilman William R. Deisinger.

It’s also where her husband is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Sammis said she has with her the black Labrador retriever, Bailey, that she and her husband owned. "He even comes to the cemetery with me," she reported.

Her life is full as she goes about her jobs, tries to get her townhouse together, sees her friends and looks forward to spending some summer weekends at the Jersey Shore with her family.

"I want Ben to be proud of me," she said. "And I think he is."