Councilman urges readers to seek help for the ‘common cold’ of mental illnesses

Joseph Wedick

Guest Column

Please allow me the opportunity to comment on the recent stories that have appeared concerning my actions and the resulting outfall of those actions. I have come to understand that I am, just like many of you, a person who is dealing with depression. Until I experienced it firsthand, I did not know the full impact that, if left unattended, this condition could have on a person. I do not offer this as any type of excuse, nor is it something to shy away from.

In my instance, it appears that my upcoming 50th birthday had triggered a fairly constant parade of reminders of all those in my immediate family who have passed away before reaching 59. Indeed, not one of the seven children and two parents in my family ever lived long enough to collect a Social Security check. What was my reaction to these reminders? I pushed them aside and never dealt with it, thinking it all was nothing, that given enough time, I could get through it all. Instead, it was just building up, both in size and in weight, and this in turn was multiplied with the attendant melancholy of the recent holidays.

It took a very unpleasant confrontation with one of my sons, who was just acting his age, and I let my guard down and allowed the situation to go where it should not have. After leaving the house to cool down, I found myself sitting in my car in a parking lot feeling that there was no place to go, no one to talk to and no future before me. Not realizing it at the time, my built-up depression had been breaking through, like some coal chute had been pulled opened and I was suddenly immersed. For some 20 minutes there was nothing for me in this world, no family, no friends, no options.

A conversation with some loved ones via my cell phone convinced me to go and at least talk to someone at the hospital, and so I went. Unbeknownst to me, my disappearance had been reported to the police, and when I arrived at the hospital, I met up with some loved ones and decided that because I was known in the area, that I should go to another nearby facility instead.

As we were leaving for that place, I was stopped by the police of two towns who were looking for me, and taken back to my hometown station. I was eventually transported to the hospital and stayed for a week.

This was where I was first educated, in any type of depth, about depression, the so-called “common cold” of mental illness. I learned that one in four women and one in six men will have a severe or major depression in their lifetime, that in any given year 7 percent of the population will experience a depressive disorder. Statistically, that number would represent some 550 new people from my town of Keyport on a yearly basis. Sadly, I also learned that of those who develop depression, only about 20 percent receive adequate treatment.

If you find yourself tiring easily and cannot get a good night’s sleep, or find daily tasks to be a significant struggle, or you have no motivation and easily losing interest in activities that you once enjoyed, you might want to talk to someone to find out the difference between just having a temporary case of the blues or if you are dealing with depression. I wish I had. It could have saved so much grief for my family and for me, that it more than likely would have never taken place. But it did happen, and it will be dealt with in a head-on, open and honest fashion, and the prognosis for the mild form of it that I have is excellent.

What escapes my logic is that being a public official somehow equated to an unspoken approval that all this should be sent twice anonymously to and later openly commented on in the newspapers. That somehow, this piling on an already bad situation by a few would somehow “help” my family and me to get through this. All I can say is that they have my sympathy and my hope that they and theirs never have to deal with depression on a firsthand basis. It should be known that these few are far outweighed by the many who have given my family and me nothing but support, best wishes, understanding and love during this time. It has been absolutely amazing.

In closing, I would like to offer the first step to anyone who might feel the need to talk with someone about depression. Please call (732) 219-5325 (24-hour crisis help line at Riverview Medical Center) or (800) 421-4211 (National Institute of Mental Health.) If anything I’ve described hits home with you, please do not hesitate to call them.

Joseph E. Wedick is a Keyport councilman.